Sunday, June 7, 2009

If I Had Been Along For the Exodus...

Secret Diary Year 39 Wandering in Desert:

Day 35:
Sand. Wandering. Yusef found a dry leaf. Tribe stopped for 5 hours to admire dead leaf- first thing we have seen in 6 years that wasn't beige. Food- rain of manna; again.

Day 37
More freaking sand. Wandering. Tribe walked backwards for 3 hours to "improve team building." Moses is a weirdo. Food- guess what- iittttt's manna.

Day 39
Slightly darker sand. Tried marching in straight line. Found footprints after 8 hours- great excitement. 2 hours later, found Schlomo's sandal and the leftover's from last night's manna. Are back at starting point. Crud. Returned to wandering. Food- built temprary houses out of manna- ate rocks. Rocks tastier.

Day 40
Lighter sand. Wandering with occassional falling over. No water. Moses smacked rock with stick- rock gave water- tasted like wee. Noted small ocean crawling with lobsters, shrimp, clams, and catfish. Gentile tribe camped on shore- wearing linen and wool clothing and eating bacon cheeseburgers and wine. Going to make friends...

Day 40, 2 hours later
Have gotten ropes untied and made Yusef put me down. Moses is a bastard.