Monday, August 29, 2016
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
A Daily Prayer
help me to remember today
that I am not the Potter,
but the Potter's clay.
Let Your miracles come through my hands,
and Your words through my lips.
Show me how to do Your will and not my own.
Help me to serve with joy, remind me
that all credit is Yours and not my own,
and stop my mouth before I take accolades
for what You alone have done.
As I go through my day,
allow me to lift those who have fallen
and light the way for those in darkness.
Today and every day,
help me to be what You have created
and through whatever comes
allow me to laugh.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Well, I say friend, mostly because "equally guilty party and co-conspiritor" is too much of a mouthful. If Moishe is the guy wearing the yarmulke with the propeller on top, D-man is the goy next to him- the one in the Viking helmet.... with horns.
Monday, April 5, 2010
What kind of house? the sensible among you ask. Surely a nice ranch with fireplace and hardwood floors. Or perhaps a delightful Cape Cod, with cozy nooks and...
You do know us, right?
130 years isn't old for a house? Right?
It really isn't as bad as you think.
It's worse. Much much worse.
I should have known we were in trouble when our lovely realtor, carrying the briefcase he made during arts and crafts at a local mental institution, got out of his car with a grin.
He was warm; he was personable; he was friendly. I didn't ask why his case contained a bid offer, two sets of handcuffs, a gold pocket watch and those syringes of sodium pentathol. I'm sure there was a reason, really.
I'm getting very sleepy.
Now where was I again?
Anyway, I'm sure I believe him when he says we spontaneously signed the papers while dancing with glee. I was doubtful about the glee at first, but he was quite firm on that point. He is such a nice man, but he does have a rather odd medical condition- he apparently is overcome with fits of maniacal laughter at absolutely random intervals.
The suffering some people have to endure.
Anyway, the house.
2FB, 4BR, galley kitchen, mud room, spare kitchen, shutters nailed to the bathtub....
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Along with Moisha, whose real name is Hebrew for "Does that look crooked to you?", I bought a house.
Of course, it's not just any house.
It's a 130 year old farmhouse, in a town where if ya see four Jews it's me and Moish and a big big mirror.
My friends are a bit divided on this move.
Some think we're nuts, others lean toward dumb and nuts. A few real rebels are going for "insane"... and dumb.
One of my dearest friends actually wrote a small skit detailing her worries about the move- she took the part of "Best Friend Wearing Body Armor and Microbraids." In a moving scene BFWBAAM attempts to get directions to my new home from a local gentleman. As I recall the dialogue was as follows:
"Excuse me Mister, can you tell me where them Jews went?"
"Yeah, sure Missy. First you take three lefts and then a zig zag at the place where the farm used to be. No, wait. It's easier if you turn right where that cow got hit, then... Aw, forget it. Just grab a'holt of this white robe and follow me- when you see the burning cross you found it."
I told her to shut up and bring marshmallows.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Sand. Wandering. Yusef found a dry leaf. Tribe stopped for 5 hours to admire dead leaf- first thing we have seen in 6 years that wasn't beige. Food- rain of manna; again.
More freaking sand. Wandering. Tribe walked backwards for 3 hours to "improve team building." Moses is a weirdo. Food- guess what- iittttt's manna.
Slightly darker sand. Tried marching in straight line. Found footprints after 8 hours- great excitement. 2 hours later, found Schlomo's sandal and the leftover's from last night's manna. Are back at starting point. Crud. Returned to wandering. Food- built temprary houses out of manna- ate rocks. Rocks tastier.
Lighter sand. Wandering with occassional falling over. No water. Moses smacked rock with stick- rock gave water- tasted like wee. Noted small ocean crawling with lobsters, shrimp, clams, and catfish. Gentile tribe camped on shore- wearing linen and wool clothing and eating bacon cheeseburgers and wine. Going to make friends...
Day 40, 2 hours later
Have gotten ropes untied and made Yusef put me down. Moses is a bastard.